How to Fail Flight School

"Hey, Mama! Mama! Airplane me, Mama!"

"Airplane you?"

"Yeah! Fly me like an airplane! Here, lay down."

"Okay."

"No. Mama, you have to hold your feet straight, like this, the way Daddy does it."

"Like this? Oh! Oh, no. No, that's so much harder. Penny, honey, I have to make my feet wider. Daddy's feet are bigger than mine are, and my legs were already sore."

"Well, okay, but -- you have to make your legs go this way, Mama. See? Do it the way Daddy does it. You're supposed to hold my hands here."

"This way? Oh. Oh no, honey. You're going to have to play airplane the way Mama does it.  Daddy's a lot bigger than I am and I can't hold you that way. I can hold your hands here, and I can make my legs go like this -- see? But that's the only way."

"Oh. Well -- then I think I'm just going to call Daddy. He's a better, um -- well, he's a better person than you are, Mama."

"Oh. Yeah, of course. I mean, yeah. You should just call Daddy. That's totally okay."