I was floundering, so I decided to do some free writing: No looking back. No revisions. Just my own stream of consciousness answer.
What are you proud of as a parent?
Here goes!
***
My day starts at the cutting board. I chop mango, cucumber, apples, carrots, purple grapes and red bell peppers. I shell pistachios. I lather peanut butter onto sandwiches. Then I prepare a big, homemade breakfast: omelets and oatmeal and oranges. I check Katherine's backpack, tighten her shoelaces, wind her scarf, and send her off to school.When she rides her bike, I make sure she wears her helmet.
Penelope wakes up. Another warm breakfast. Teeth to brush. Bleary eyes. Rumpled hair. Snuggles. Art projects. Spilled paint. Water messes.
Leftover chili. Apple slices.
Stories.
Stories. Stories. Stories.
"Mama, I'm a baby skunk and you're my mommy. Come into the burrow, Mommy!"
After school Katherine rushes home full of fresh air and energy. She's hungry. Penny's hungry. I leave the burrow. Scrounge for food. Feed them.
We go outside if it's pretty. Katherine runs for the good climbing tree. Penelope hops onto the teeter-totter. There are other kids there, always. They organize games. Chasing, mainly. I wave at them when they run past me.
Home again. Homework.
A key in the lock.
"Daddy! Daddy!"
"I'm a magical snake and I'm going to eat you, Daddy!"
"Oh yeah, well, I'm a magical fox and a magical snake could NEVER eat me!"
"Daddy! Daddy!"
Dinner.
"Oh girls, daddy's grilling steak! Come and see the fire leaping!"
And then, the nightly convincing:
"Where do we eat? In our seat!"
"Oh no! Don't eat that! You'll get way too much power! No! No! Do you see this? She's eating her dinner! SHE'S EATING HER DINNER!!!"
"Welcome, everyone, welcome! It's time for another night of The Dinner Game! And let me tell you, the excitement is thick tonight. This crowd is wild! Can they do it? That's the question on everyone's mind as the contestants settle into their chairs. Oh! The forks have been lifted! Can anybody eat a...CARROT?"
And then, of course:
Brush your teeth, honey. Did you brush your teeth?
Okay, good girl. Go climb in bed. I'll be right there for stories.
***
Honestly, I don't feel like I've done very well with this post or with this project, but I think what I'm trying to understand is that it's the little moments that matter to me as a parent. The failures are awful and the successes are sweet, but ultimately it's the constancy, the little routines, the showing-up-and-trying and the struggling-and-striving work of it all that makes me feel proud.
What about you? What makes you feel proud of yourself as a parent?
Link up and share your story!
Link up and share your story!
Hmmm that's very funny - when I came to write my story down yesterday I just found myself writing a raw list as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure mine fits the bill of a "celebration" sorry - but it's my real (and I'm just proud of myself that I remembered lol) :)
I'm glad you remembered, too! I'm mentally rushing my husband home from work now, just so I can hop over and do some blog reading! Thank you so much for linking! :)
DeleteYes, Em! The constancy, the little routines...they are worthy of pride!! Your day is chock full of BEING there for you kids in tiny ways that have huge payoffs. Even if you never do it perfectly (which you so often do), it's still powerful. The sheer consistency of it.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping I dream up something magical about which to write for my post in the morning...either way, I'll be back :)
Thanks, Sarah! We had a really hard day today, which was ironic since I was 'celebrating parenthood', and this post felt almost impossible to write.
DeleteIt was such a relief though! Once I stopped worrying about crafting pretty prose and allowed myself to just brainstorm about what I *do* feel proud of as a parent, I realized I was painting a picture of consistency --and a happy, stable family to boot. What a surprise!
It's amazing how clouded my perspective can get when I give in to self-dout and worry. Maybe we all just need to spend more time celebrating the role we play in our kids' lives and less time agonizing about it. You know?
I can't wait to see what you come up with tomorrow!
Can't wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteMe too! And thanks again for linking up! I *loved* your story!
DeleteI like your honesty here. And also, I enjoyed reading about your day as always. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Danielle! That means a lot coming from you -- especially since I find *your* days so inspiring!
DeleteHello Emily! Thank you for the opportunity to celebrate with you today! I loved your post and think you did a great job! I'm looking forward to reading everyone's celebratory stories!! Have a wonderful weekend! xo
ReplyDeleteMe too! I just woke up, but I'm already ready to make a cup of coffee and start blog hopping. (Three cheers for Saturday morning!) Thanks so much for playing along! :)
DeleteHi! I'm new here! Found you over at Kat's blog...great idea for a linky! Off to look through your blog :) love it so far :)
ReplyDeleteWelcome, Dorian! And thank you!
DeleteThis is JUST wonderful, Emily. It's amazing what you did with free writing...wow. Decades ago when I taught Freshman English, I would use free writing at the beginning of every semester. I've never thought of using this for blog posts when like you I feel bogged down with not even a spark of an idea. Now, after reading your incredible (and poetic) story, I'm going to do try free writing too and see what I come up with. See what you've done for me this morning! And I hope you do more of this yourself!!
ReplyDeleteAnn Best, Author of In the Mirror & Other Memoirs
I usually have trouble free writing. I want to hold on tight and be precise with every word, which makes it hard to let go, but this time it felt liberating. I hope you have fun with it, too!
DeleteThank you so much for your kind words!
When I think back to my childhood, my memories are mostly full of the everyday comforts of family and home. And now that my kids are entering adulthood, they tell me little things about when they were kids that they loved, and so much of it was the routines of how things were done. It's comforting, I think.
ReplyDeleteKatherine and I had a really tough morning just before I wrote this post. She was having trouble learning her spelling words, we were rushing around, almost late for school, and I was stressed out and snappish with her. Once she was finally on her way though, I felt awful so I called my mom (of course) and told her all about how I'm a terrible mother. I told her I never remember *her* being stressed out and short-tempered, how *she* always seemed to enjoy helping me with schoolwork, etc., etc., and it was actually a huge relief when she told me I was wrong! She told me we had bad mornings. She didn't always like helping me with homework. She got stressed out and she snapped at me, but I don't remember those days because I just remember the routines -- the everyday, happy routines. I hope that's what my kids remember, too! It's definitely comforting! :)
DeleteIt's a lovely routine and as always well written.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful weekend.
Thanks, Debby! You too!
DeleteI did it! Thanks Emily. You inspired me. I finished it while being used -quite literally- as a jungle gym. But I wrote, and I let my kids use me as a jungle gym. I think we were all happy with that!
ReplyDeleteThank you for "hosting" this party. I needed it!
-Katy
Oh yes, the jungle-gym typist! I've been there, too! :)
DeleteThanks so much for joining the fun!
Not only the small moments and the routine, but your gift, Emily, for seeing and sharing the magic that each and every one of those moments holds. Of that I hope you are very proud.
ReplyDeleteI really do try. I try to notice the small moments, to appreciate and savor them. Some days it works better than others, but one day I hope I'll look back on this part of my life and think I really was *present* in it. When people tell me to 'enjoy each moment' I know it's impossible, but with this blog I at least try to *see* each moment. If that makes sense...which it doesn't. :)
DeleteThank you so much, May, for this sweet comment.
Emily, this free writing exercised has allowed you to depict your day with such clarity, I felt like I was right along with all of you. It also projects the continuous work flow parents have. The interaction was a joy to read and it reminded me of my children and their curious state. There were days they had more questions than I had answers! :)
ReplyDeleteHa! My kids ALWAYS have more questions than I have answers. I often wonder how parents managed before Google. Talk about a challenge!
DeleteWe made things up. Half of what you have in your head right now is fiction ;-)
DeleteIt was a very nice post, Emily. You captured your day so well, I feel like I shared it with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Danette!
DeleteWhat tender details in the story of a day in your life.
ReplyDeleteTenderness is one of the things I'm striving for as a mom, so I'm glad it's all mixed up in our routines. Thanks, LadyFi!
DeleteI thought you did an amazing job. And you proved what was most important - those times together, building up sweet memories for your girls to pull out and remember one day, "OH! I remember when my mom used to..." I think more than "telling" us what you might be proud of as a parent, you showed us!
ReplyDeleteThanks! It's so hard to see clearly when you're in the moment, you know? There I am, making breakfast and hollering "it's getting late! go get dressed! " and at the same time I'm wondering 'what will they remember? the breakfast or the stress?' But I HOPE they just remember the love that surrounds them, because that's there -- always.
DeleteI'm really proud of you for doing this. You deserve a big party for being such a great mom! (I'll throw one for you if you'll come home :-)). One thing I've learned is that children love seeing their parents happy, so all you moms should celebrate yourselves everyday. You're doing good work!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Mom! I'll take you up on that!
Delete