Saturday, February 18, 2012
Blackbirds in the Morning
They wheel above the forest, stark, dark, careening in haphazard arcs, two blackbirds tossed against a whitened sky. I watch them, coffee on my lips, nightgown trailing, cotton coming unstitched at the seams, and I think of them as ink spots, psych tests, sadness, until I see they're not haphazard. They're flying patterns, swooping sideways, wind rushing through their wings.
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Happy Saturday, Emily! Have a wonderful weekend!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rosinda! You too!
DeleteIt was beautiful, though.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Robin -- but I just cheated. I went back and cut everything after "I pushed the window open." Maybe I'll do something with the rest of it later. Or just revamp it entirely. This post still doesn't make sense, of course, but it *almost* makes sense now...or not.
DeleteUgh! One thing's for sure, I'm definitely not cut out for being a Five Minute writer. This is too much challenge!
You were delighting in the birds frolic - and I loved that you realize they aren't haphazard. We have some here in Florida who use the air currents as a mating dance - a kind of "Look how I can soar!" I'm glad you posted today (and that I got to meet you because I posted so late) and we don't have to use the word prompt in the writing ... kind of what makes this exercise so fun.
ReplyDeleteI adore the last line (even though I see in the comment above you cut) I love the way you left it - for me you are going to take off and join them. GREAT! The desire to be free is a delight.
Thanks,
Felecia
I love the way birds can manipulate air currents so effortlessly -- and your Florida birds sound fascinating!
DeleteThanks for your sweet words. And welcome!
Hah! This is why I've never done the 5 minute writing thing -- I feel too compelled to finish a whole work, even if it's short. I could never *actually* stick to the time limit. Still, as a writing exercise, you created some beautiful imagery in a few minutes! I see the birds, Em. And I see you shaking your head :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I want to know what happens when you open the window! How does it affect the torn hem of your nightgown? Do the birds notice and startle away? Write another paragraph or two -- make this a serial event --next friday!
Oh gosh, a serial story written in five-minute increments? Can you imagine? Yikes!
DeleteYOU should do it though! I'm rooting for a Heavenly Five Minute Friday! Next week? What do you say? :)
What are you doing to me, Sarah? I keep thinking about this! I wonder if I *could* write a story based on a series of random, unrelated writing prompts, in five-minute bursts, over the course of weeks. It's so intriguing!
Delete(What if I beg you to do it with me?)
I couldn't keep up. Really, I'd have THIS written in 5 minutes:
DeleteShe sat at the foot of the stairs, digging one fingernail into the worn carpet, watching the way her fingers looked bloodied by the ...
and then I'd wonder what the hell to do next!
Hm.
I'll think about it :)
By the WHAT?!?!??! Now you *have* to do it!
Delete...and at least you have your beginning! :)
This is so lovely. I want to listen to more! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteIt felt weird to end so abruptly, but I couldn't make sense of it any other way. Five minutes is such a challenge!
I loved it. And wish it continues. Another post, maybe? Hugs! :D It makes sense to me in the way that an introduction does, leaving me thirsting for more.
ReplyDeleteLove, Vidya
I had a more complicated vision for what I wanted this post to say, but I couldn't figure out how to make it work given the time constraints (and my slow thinking). I saved the bits I jotted down though, so maybe I'll rework the whole thing later.
DeleteThanks for the encouragement! I was feeling discouraged!
I dunno, I think it's still very evocative of a mood. It seems like the kind of thing you'd write to show something rather than tell it. I'd hold onto it. You never know when it might be turned into the perfect imagery for something you write later. It doesn't have to be perfectly written in these 5 minutes to become perfectly useful later. :)
ReplyDeleteThat's the fun of a blog, isn't it? In some ways it's just a giant notebook full of things I want to get back to later!
DeleteI almost always have things distracting me when I write (kids talking, laundry to switch, something burning on the stove) and having a time limit just amplified those distractions, but it was fun, too. I was giddy with the permission to be imperfect -- and besides, we all know I'm only coherent in snatches!
Wow - you paint such a picture with words - I love this "two blackbirds tossed against a whitened sky" I'm so glad you posted this because it really is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by to read my 5 minutes - I'm so glad that i got to read yours too :)
Thank you so much, Gidget! I loved the way you wrote about using your art to bring delight to others; it was really such an inspiring perspective!
DeleteI'm so glad you clicked over! Welcome!
this is a really lovely piece of stream-of-consciousness writing.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leslie!
DeleteActually, it made sense to me, but what the hell do I know, haha?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad it made sense to someone!
DeleteO, My,
ReplyDeleteYour writing is "Pure Poetry."
I really LOVE love love it.
I'm a stalker of your words. Haaa
Easily the best kind of stalker. :)
DeleteNo I do not agree, I think it makes sense, however I do think the title helped me with the vision.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you thought so, Debby!
DeleteNot only does it make sense, it's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteI loved this so much, I'm going to follow. It made sense to me, and I can definitely see how those bring a sense of delight. Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so glad! Welcome!
Delete