The conversation was discouraging.
We talked about the big things we don't have, like a house, or a car, or our kids enrolled in private schools, and the small things, like a full-length mirror, or an extra lamp, or even bedside tables, and I felt suddenly and intensely (and for the first time, really) like we'd fallen behind somehow. We'd forgotten to keep up with the Joneses.
We Don't Have:
- a house
- a car
- a lawnmower (or a lawn!)
- fashionable clothes
- a washer/dryer
- a headboard
- bedside tables
- a dresser for Penelope
- a desk with drawers
- more than four dining room chairs
Once I had time to think about it though, I realized something important: Chris and I were being crazy. We're blessed.
We Have:
- stamps in our passports
- charities we support
- family dinners
- a good climbing tree for the kids (at the park)
- savings
- books lining our bookshelves (and tossed into baskets) (and stacked up in piles on the bedroom floors)
- friends
- conversations
- tickets to see the ballet in Tokyo
- a train station we can walk to, and
- plane tickets to Vietnam and Cambodia
We aren't living the life we always imagined. We don't have a four-bedroom house on a winding street. We don't have flowers planted in porch pots or in a well-ordered, backyard garden. Our kids don't have ready access to open, green spaces, but they have other advantages. We have an amazing life together -- a life we can't predict or settle into or take for granted -- and we're happy.
We're grateful.
***
What about you? How does the life you're living compare to the one you always imagined?
I can relate on a lot of levels, while we live on the tree-lined street with the basketball hoops and all, we don't have cement -- you know, the stuff that holds you down to a place. We're just, really, passing through -- renting, landing, lifting and being in the moment while we're here. But I think some people have trouble with the "cement" keeping them stuck, and that's one thing we'll never be, right?
ReplyDelete---Your priorities are exsactly where they should be....
ReplyDeleteSavor your family.
I'd give away every single material thing to have my sister back for one hour.
Xx
Bless you, Emily. I go through this exercise quite often - and always feel better listing what we have. And in the true sense of the word, it is more than enough. Big hugs to you. You write so beautifully.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas to you and your loved ones.
Well you already know what I think about this lovely post Emily, odd it appeared in my google reader before you published it though. :)
ReplyDeleteWe go through life making choices without realizing we're choosing. If we're lucky, we'll find we've chosen what we want. I think you have!
ReplyDeleteDon't forget -- you do have a washer and dryer. They're in my laundry room waiting for you, and they still work!
When's the trip?
The life I am living exceeds the life I dreamed I would lead. It has all the components I hoped it would have (and more) but I had no idea the degree I would love it all. Thanks for urging me to think about that. I don't think I had thought in those terms before, but just writing that made me feel incredibly grateful.
ReplyDeleteYou know what it is for me and I imagine for you too....it doesn't matter how much or even where that life is taking place. It is the who it is taking place with! And we absolutely love our WHO!
You're right. The life I have is sort of what I always wanted. To be at home with my family, taking care of them, cooking for them, etc. I didn't plan on living with chronic pain from arthritis and stenosis but God gives us strength for the hard times! Great though-provoking post!!!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you realized how blessed you are because what you are giving your children is by far of a much greater worth. How many children have had the opportunity to travel to Japn, Italy, and all the other countries you have been too. Today at the grocery store I met a woman who had never been on an airplane. Can you imagine? I do have a home and a car and while I am glad I have them they are no longer of an importance to me because I realize the most important thing is my children and husband. Good health. Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kim (My Inner Chick) you have your priorities right! It's nice to have material things, but in the long run - they aren't what will comfort you at night or hold your hand, or hug you when you need it.
ReplyDeleteAs for my life - it turned out much as I expected and differently at the same time.
However, I'm HAPPY so I wouldn't change a thing!
Fantastic perspective. I love this so much, I might have to make our own lists!
ReplyDeleteI always say that I never knew what I wanted then because I didn`t know my future self... it is easy to say what you think would be a perfect life until you stop and realize that life is fluid and changing and you change with it. Ten years ago if you asked me `would you ever want to live in Japan?` I would most have certainly said NO. But living in Japan now is the only thing I can imagine doing!
ReplyDeleteThe Joneses probably eat all their meals in front of their large-screen TV. You guys are fantastic, just they way you and and with just what you have. Although I think of you, and your daughters especially, as most fashionable!
ReplyDelete